Invisible
Partners: How the Male and Female in Each of Us Affects Our Relationships
Joe M. Reviews this classic by the late John A. Sanford.
There are so many great new books available at your local bookseller these days and I know it may seem odd for me to want to review a book from 1980, but I was blown away by this book two decades ago and I'm just as blown away by it now. I convinced the editors to let me introduce you to this classic. I hope you don't mind.
In this book John A. Sanford discusses the concepts of the animus and anima, the male and female elements that exist in all human beings and play a major role in all of our relationships. Sounds simple? Sounds like you've heard all of this before? Trust me, after reading this book you will never look at ANY male-female relationship the same way again.
Okay, picture this. You're a Single guy. You're going to a party with some of your guy friends. You're walking, together, into a the party and you look across the room and see HER. (For you gals out there, just swap the gender in this example.)
Not just any "HER." The HER. Emphasis on THE.
You turn to your friend and say, "Look at her. There she is. The girl of my dreams."
Your friend looks all over the room trying to lock in on who you are suddenly attracted to. He can't see her! What is he blind??
When you finally direct his eyes in the right direction, your friend says, "Not my type, but I'm very interested in that gal over there with the black dress."
What is he, nuts?
You can't figure out why your friend isn't seeing what you're seeing but you part ways and head off to meet the girl of your dreams.
You chat, you dance, you find so much that you can relate to. It's amazing!
Everything fits! Chemistry!
Times flies, you get married.
One day, you're fighting, thinking about divorce and she tells you, "You're not the man I married!"
You answer, "You're not the woman I married either!!"
Punch line: YES SHE IS (and YES YOU ARE for that matter.)
So why didn't you know this when you first met? Because the INVISIBLE PARTNERS were doing all of the dancing in the archetypal ballroom.
You don't have to be an expert in Jungian Psychology to read and understand the Jungian theories bound within this book. John Sanford wrote in a very clear language and illustrated the concept of the Anima and Animus so well.
(Later, his good friend, Robert A. Johnson wrote two wonderful books SHE and HE that diagnose the anima and animus individually using famous myths to illustrate the dynamics between these two opposites that are forever searching for each other.)
Anyone who has ever read this book, at my recommendation, has mentioned that they have had better relationships with the opposite sex and I've also been told that marriages have gotten better!
When we can see past the Invisible Partners, we can see people for who they really are and not for who we expect them to be.
Pick up "Invisible Partners" today. I promise you will see relationships, forever, in a whole new way.
-Joe M
Invisible Partners: How the Male and Female in Each of Us Affects Our Relationships
(Joe M. practices Music Therapy in New York.)
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